The last couple of days I've stuck to the schedule fairly well, but wow, sticking to it is really limiting my activities. I've kept outings very short and still didn't manage to do everything I wanted to do, even though they were simple things like stopping at the grocery store for some granola bars. At home too, I've abandoned a lot of activities halfway because it was time to put Mari down for her nap. Not that I was really adamant about folding all the laundry at once, but I hate going downstairs to an abandoned sink full of dishes sitting in cold soapy water.
I'm not a naturally scheduled person, so trying to stick to a schedule is a pain in the ass. Mari isn't predictable either, and I've had to make a lot of minor modifications as she's napped less or more than expected, got cranky sooner or seemed wide awake later. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. I'm hoping that if sticking to a schedule teaches her to sleep better, we can start to be more flexible. Or maybe I'll be able to work out ways to stick to the schedule even when we're on the go, like timing naps for when she can be in her car seat or carrier. Trouble is, Mari's picky about where she naps and is a very light sleeper, so things like walking into a store or even stopping for a red light will often wake her up.
Doing this whole sleep plan is also time-consuming. I feel like I spend half my day putting Mari down to sleep. And that's not far from the truth -- about a total of two and a half hours for three naps and one bedtime, plus assorted other time for her many variable night and naptime wakings. On a day like today, that's about four hours in a day spent trying to wind Mari down and putting her to sleep or back to sleep. In addition, there's the amount of time I've been spending sitting by her in hopes my presence and/or comforting hand will keep her from waking up in the first place. I hope not to keep doing this for the rest of Mari's babyhood, but I probably spent about four hours doing that today. And then there was the half an hour I spent holding her during one of her naps, because she woke up after only 20 minutes and wouldn't go back to sleep and the NCSS says to do whatever it takes to make sure she sleeps enough during the day. If you add it all up, that's more than a full workday occupied with Mari's sleep. Sigh.
Yesterday and today: Yesterday was a relatively good day for sleep by Mari's standards, with her waking up roughly every two hours most of the night. Today has been awful. Except for one hour-long stretch, she has woken up every 5-15 minutes all evening, even after I started resorting to rocking her all the way to sleep. I really don't understand why she so often wakes up after seeming briefly to be genuinely asleep. The days didn't go all that differently and Mari got comparable amounts of naptime. So what's going on tonight?
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It sounds to me like she wakes up after one sleep cycle, or when something in her environment changes; in a word, she is still learning to put herself back to sleep without your help. (She's also probably pretty sensitive to her environment, which is why naps on the go are going to make her sleep lighter. You're doing the right thing there -- she will eventually be able to stay awake for longer stretches, and you'll be able to take her out more.) The first few chapters of the Ferber book have a lot of very useful information on how sleep happens in the body. Even though you're not letting her cry to teach her to go to sleep on her own, those first few chapters are an excellent resource to understand what's physically happening for her. It's good science!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you and Mari when I'm planning out Caleb's evening, and I read that sometimes kids need as long as an hour and a half between bathtime and bed, because the bath can be physically stimulating and make it difficult to wind down. I moved his bath up, and dinnertime as well, so he has more time between then and bed to relax. He falls asleep quicker now! So that might be something to try as well. Hope you get some long stretches in soon!
Hmm, that's a good point about the bath. I actually used to bathe Mari in the morning, after our showers, but moved it to evening because *I* would find a bath relaxing. I don't know if Mari does, though. However, getting her to sleep the first time isn't usually the problem. It's keeping her asleep.
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