Day 31: The new 10-day plan including nap plan

Damn. Mari didn't sleep through the night last night, for the first time in over a week. She was close, since I'm still defining "through the night" as one five-hour stretch -- she had a 4.5-hour stretch. But it has underlined to me that I still need to be emphasizing the nighttime sleep plan as much as ever. I'll probably need to do that until well into childhood, though of course there will be significant changes to the plan before then.

Anyway, here's the new plan, including the plan for naps. Unless otherwise stated, previous plans still apply.

1. For this 10-day plan only I will not try to schedule naps. I will instead look for sleepy cues and try to respond IMMEDIATELY by reading her a quick story, rocking to the point of drowsiness while singing a lullaby, then putting her down. I will try to feed and potty her at least 45 minutes before she's likely to fall asleep. (Feeding her immediately upon waking up has been totally unsuccessful and I will discontinue that attempt. She's too raring to go to settle down for a feed when she's just woken up.)

2.  If I miss feeding her and pottying her before she shows me sleepy signs, I will feed and potty her immediately, limiting time on the potty to a minute or two regardless of if she goes. I will then rock her and put her down without a story or song.

3.  I will keep track of naptimes for the next 10 days so I have a sense of when her natural tired times are. I will use the data to create a nap schedule for the next 10-day plan. For this 10-day plan I will only try to schedule bedtime, starting her bedtime routine at 6:30 every day so she's asleep sometime between 7:30 and 8.

4.  I will make Mari's room darker for naps by sewing blackout fabric onto the backs of the bamboo blinds. (I already did this for one blind, but I don't think the fabric is dark or thick enough, so I'll add another layer.)

5.  I will continue to co-nap with Mari for her morning nap for now, since the morning nap seems to be key. In any case, I usually need a nap too! If she starts to stir too early, I will put a hand on her before she wakes and shush her to try to keep her asleep. If she still wakes up after less than an hour, I will do whatever I have to do to get her back to sleep, including rocking and nursing. 

6.  For afternoon naps, I will put Mari down in her crib and leave the room so she gets more used to napping alone. I will, however, stay upstairs. I will enter the room immediately when I hear a sound and try to get her back to sleep if it has been less than an hour or if she seems cranky.  Exception: if she napped long previously, seems happy and alert and has napped at least 30 minutes, I'll leave her be. She can have one nap a day of less than an hour, assuming three naps a day.

7.  I will work on putting her down after less rocking, drowsy but not yet falling asleep, so she learns to fall asleep on her own in the crib. I will stay by her side for a little while, saying "shh," but I will now not keep a hand on her stomach unless she fusses. If she fusses, I will use the hand but I won't pick her up unless she starts to truly cry, or if she fusses for more than 5 minutes at naptime and doesn't seem to be trying to put herself to sleep. At night, I will leave the room 5 minutes after I put her down, even if she's still awake. At naptime, I'll stay in the room until she's very nearly asleep -- but not quite.

8.  Since her weight gain has slowed, I'm OK with feeding her once or twice a night. Ideally I will do this once before I go to bed, in hopes her longest sleep stretch comes after I go to bed. However, if she doesn't wake up, or puts herself to sleep after less than five minutes of fussing, I will not wake her up to feed her, nor will I do a dream feed.

9.  For night wakings, I will continue to let her fuss alone -- NOT cry -- for the following amounts of time:
- 5 minutes if it's just after I put her down and leave the room, but she's still clearly awake and not happy about being left alone.
- 15 minutes if she has already fallen asleep once for the night but less than three hours have passed since I put her down. If I end up having to go in and comfort her, I will not feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than 3 hours has passed since I put her down for the night. If she continues to fuss for more than five minutes, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- 15 minutes if I have already fed her once during the night and less than five hours have passed since then. If I go in, I won't feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than five hours have passed since her first night feeding. If I have to go in, I will feed her.
- 5 minutes at any time of the night if it has been less than 30 minutes since her last night waking and she was not fed at the last night waking. If this happens, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- At any time if she starts full-on crying, I will go in immediately. However, I will only feed her according to the above guidelines.

10.  I will no longer hold Mari during her naps after she has fallen asleep, even if I picked her up after a premature awakening. If she wakes up prematurely, I will soothe her and put her down, up to twice. If she wakes up a third time after being put down, she can stay up.

11.  I will make sure she gets at least some active tummy time between every nap, even if it's only for five minutes before an outing.

12.  I will try very hard to avoid being out when Mari has to nap. However, if it's unavoidable and she falls asleep in her car seat, I will stay in the (intermittently warmed up, if necessary) parked car with her until she wakes up or has napped for a minimum of 45 minutes. Only then will I go in the house, since going in almost always wakes her up. If she falls asleep in the carrier or stroller, I will try to keep walking around outside for the same amount of time. However, if it's too cold, I will take her inside and keep walking around quietly indoors in hopes she won't wake up.

13.  In the last stages of getting Mari down to sleep (naps and at night), I will do the "Pantley Dance" -- alternating periods of rocking and shushing with holding her still and quiet in my arms. I will do both a few times each until she is sleepy but not yet asleep. Then I will put her down.

14.  If she seems in danger of falling asleep nursing, I will employ the "Pantley Pull-Off" (see http://www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull)