I've been trying to respond promptly to Mari's cues and keeping track of when she sleeps for quite awhile now in hopes a pattern would emerge. Unfortunately, the only conclusion I've come to is that Mari is highly unpredictable and has little or no internal rhythm of her own.
She wakes up wide awake and ready to play anytime between 2:30 AM and 8 AM, though of course with the earlier times I try really hard to get her back to sleep, though it often takes up to an hour and a half. Her nap number ranges from two to five, though three is most normal. She has gone to bed as early as 5:30 PM and not until nearly 9 PM. Her morning nap has started as early as 7:40 and as late as 10:10. Her nap lengths vary from 20 minutes to three hours.
Having learned a little more about temperament, I can conclude that Mari is a highly irregular baby and will not put herself on a schedule no matter how long I wait and keep track of what she does. So I've decided I have to impose one.
No, Jon, I'm not going to be inflexible about this. Because I'm going to try to balance establishing a schedule with making sure Mari gets enough rest and isn't overtired, it may take a long time for her to get the idea. Nonetheless, I'm going to try. Someone has to set her circadian clock.
The key is going to be establishing quiet times and active times. Ideally she will sleep during the quiet times and play during the active times, but if not, she will play quietly during the quiet times and nap in a brighter, noisier environment during the active times.
The ideal schedule will be as follows:
7:30 AM - Up, active play
8:15 - Naptime routine (feed, potty, story, lullaby and rocking, down)
9:00 - Nap/quiet time
11:00 - Active play
12:15 PM - Naptime routine
1:00 - Nap/quiet time
2:30 - Active play
3:45 - Naptime routine
4:30 - Nap/quiet time
5:30 - Active play/suppertime
6:30 - Bedtime routine (feed, potty, bath, massage, 2 stories, lullaby and rocking, down)
7:30 - Sleep
Of course, Mari won't follow the ideal schedule exactly. So I have the following contingency guidelines:
- If Mari wakes up from a nap while it's still naptime, I will try my hardest to get her back down. If after 20 minutes of rocking and soothing, she won't go back down and it's still naptime, I will let her play quietly in her crib for up to 20 minutes or until she shows tired signs. Then I will try again, until she goes down or until it's active time.
- If Mari wakes up while it's still naptime and I'm able to get her back down, but she wakes up again I'll try a second time to get her back down -- and this time I'll rock her all the way to sleep. At all other times I will endeavour to rock her only until she's drowsy and put her down still awake. If she wakes up a third time while it's still naptime I'll let her play quietly in her crib until it's active time.
- If Mari shows signs of fatigue during active time, I will immediately stop what I'm doing and put her to bed. I won't do the whole naptime routine -- no feed, no potty, no story. Just lullaby and rocking.
- For naps during active time, I will not try super-hard to be quiet. I will walk around, flush the toilet, etc, though I won't actively try to disrupt her sleep. I will close only the blind over her crib, not the one over the roof, unless it's very sunny, in which case I'll close the bamboo part of the blind only, not the blackout fabric. For naps during quiet time, I will close both blinds and I will try to be as quiet as possible.
- If Mari wakes up from a short nap during active time I won't try to put her back to sleep unless she's very fussy and obviously tired and continues to be for more than a few minutes.
- For most naps, even if they go into the next scheduled time, I will not wake her up or disturb her. However, if the last nap of the day goes beyond 6:30 PM, I will go into the room, walk around, open the blinds, turn off the white noise machine. If that doesn't wake her up I'll try again in another 10 minutes. By 6:45 at the latest, I will actively wake her up by picking her up.
- During active time, Mari will play downstairs, not in her crib. I will try to play actively with her as much as possible, though I don't promise to do so all the time.
- If Mari is happily playing in her crib during quiet time, I will either leave her alone in her room or sit in the chair and read, interacting with her only minimally, if at all -- looks and smiles, no talking.
- If Mari is playing in her crib during quiet time, I will provide only her lovey and perhaps one other toy at my discretion, and she will be facing the direction she faces to sleep, unless there's less than 15 minutes remaining in her quiet time, in which case she can play with whatever she wants, facing whichever direction, as long as she stays in her crib.
- If Mari starts to fuss when I've left her alone to play in her crib during quiet time, I'll take this as a sign she's tired and will try again to put her down for a nap.
- If Mari naps during active time, I will nonetheless try to put her down for her next nap on schedule, unless she has woken up less than half an hour before the naptime routine is supposed to begin. If the latter is the case, I'll let her play actively for 30 minutes before beginning the naptime routine. If she seems wide awake even then, I will use the time normally allotted for the naptime routine as a transitional time. I will feed her if she'll eat, read her stories, play with her very quietly until she starts to lose steam or until the actual nap is supposed to start. Then I will try more aggressively to get her to fall asleep.
- The bedtime routine starts at 6:30 PM even if she's just woken up, because she's tired at that time of day anyway and because the bath and massage will provide some activity before bed.
- While I will try to feed her at the beginning of every naptime/bedtime routine, it's not a big deal if she's hungry earlier or refuses to feed because she's not hungry -- I will feed her on demand. If I end up having to nurse her at the end of the naptime/bedtime routine I will pull her off before she falls asleep completely. I will try not to make a habit of nursing her immediately before bed.
- I will try to potty her toward the beginning of the naptime/bedtime routine. If she doesn't go, I won't take her again unless she clearly needs to poo (not pee). If she does, I will use the bowl in her room; I won't take her to the (brighter) bathroom.
- If she wakes up before 7:30 AM, I will try hard to get her back down. But if she's wide awake between 7:00 and 7:30 and seems unlikely to go back down, I will let her play quietly in her crib until 7:30. In this case I will potty her if need be.
- If she seems very tired at night, I will shorten the bedtime routine and concentrate on getting her down, even if it's earlier than 7:30 PM.
- I hope that eventually, if she's sleeping better during the day and waking up less at night, I can move the bedtime up to 8 PM and allow her to get up at 7 AM, since she probably only needs about 11 hours of night sleep.
Today: Last night we were back to the bad old days -- four night wakings. She was up from about 2:15 to 3:30 AM and wouldn't fall back asleep. I don't know what's up because yesterday was a fairly average day. Maybe it's the developmental leaps of Wonder Week 26 making her fussy for up to five weeks. Sigh. As for the new schedule, yesterday was the first day I tried to follow it, and we were fairly successful. However, today, Mari screwed it up by napping only for about 45 minutes in the morning and refusing to back down. She ended up having four short naps today, one of them during an active time. I really, really wish I could get her to nap longer.
Showing posts with label nap plan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nap plan. Show all posts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Day 31: The new 10-day plan including nap plan
Damn. Mari didn't sleep through the night last night, for the first time in over a week. She was close, since I'm still defining "through the night" as one five-hour stretch -- she had a 4.5-hour stretch. But it has underlined to me that I still need to be emphasizing the nighttime sleep plan as much as ever. I'll probably need to do that until well into childhood, though of course there will be significant changes to the plan before then.
Anyway, here's the new plan, including the plan for naps. Unless otherwise stated, previous plans still apply.
1. For this 10-day plan only I will not try to schedule naps. I will instead look for sleepy cues and try to respond IMMEDIATELY by reading her a quick story, rocking to the point of drowsiness while singing a lullaby, then putting her down. I will try to feed and potty her at least 45 minutes before she's likely to fall asleep. (Feeding her immediately upon waking up has been totally unsuccessful and I will discontinue that attempt. She's too raring to go to settle down for a feed when she's just woken up.)
2. If I miss feeding her and pottying her before she shows me sleepy signs, I will feed and potty her immediately, limiting time on the potty to a minute or two regardless of if she goes. I will then rock her and put her down without a story or song.
3. I will keep track of naptimes for the next 10 days so I have a sense of when her natural tired times are. I will use the data to create a nap schedule for the next 10-day plan. For this 10-day plan I will only try to schedule bedtime, starting her bedtime routine at 6:30 every day so she's asleep sometime between 7:30 and 8.
4. I will make Mari's room darker for naps by sewing blackout fabric onto the backs of the bamboo blinds. (I already did this for one blind, but I don't think the fabric is dark or thick enough, so I'll add another layer.)
5. I will continue to co-nap with Mari for her morning nap for now, since the morning nap seems to be key. In any case, I usually need a nap too! If she starts to stir too early, I will put a hand on her before she wakes and shush her to try to keep her asleep. If she still wakes up after less than an hour, I will do whatever I have to do to get her back to sleep, including rocking and nursing.
6. For afternoon naps, I will put Mari down in her crib and leave the room so she gets more used to napping alone. I will, however, stay upstairs. I will enter the room immediately when I hear a sound and try to get her back to sleep if it has been less than an hour or if she seems cranky. Exception: if she napped long previously, seems happy and alert and has napped at least 30 minutes, I'll leave her be. She can have one nap a day of less than an hour, assuming three naps a day.
7. I will work on putting her down after less rocking, drowsy but not yet falling asleep, so she learns to fall asleep on her own in the crib. I will stay by her side for a little while, saying "shh," but I will now not keep a hand on her stomach unless she fusses. If she fusses, I will use the hand but I won't pick her up unless she starts to truly cry, or if she fusses for more than 5 minutes at naptime and doesn't seem to be trying to put herself to sleep. At night, I will leave the room 5 minutes after I put her down, even if she's still awake. At naptime, I'll stay in the room until she's very nearly asleep -- but not quite.
8. Since her weight gain has slowed, I'm OK with feeding her once or twice a night. Ideally I will do this once before I go to bed, in hopes her longest sleep stretch comes after I go to bed. However, if she doesn't wake up, or puts herself to sleep after less than five minutes of fussing, I will not wake her up to feed her, nor will I do a dream feed.
9. For night wakings, I will continue to let her fuss alone -- NOT cry -- for the following amounts of time:
- 5 minutes if it's just after I put her down and leave the room, but she's still clearly awake and not happy about being left alone.
- 15 minutes if she has already fallen asleep once for the night but less than three hours have passed since I put her down. If I end up having to go in and comfort her, I will not feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than 3 hours has passed since I put her down for the night. If she continues to fuss for more than five minutes, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- 15 minutes if I have already fed her once during the night and less than five hours have passed since then. If I go in, I won't feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than five hours have passed since her first night feeding. If I have to go in, I will feed her.
- 5 minutes at any time of the night if it has been less than 30 minutes since her last night waking and she was not fed at the last night waking. If this happens, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- At any time if she starts full-on crying, I will go in immediately. However, I will only feed her according to the above guidelines.
10. I will no longer hold Mari during her naps after she has fallen asleep, even if I picked her up after a premature awakening. If she wakes up prematurely, I will soothe her and put her down, up to twice. If she wakes up a third time after being put down, she can stay up.
11. I will make sure she gets at least some active tummy time between every nap, even if it's only for five minutes before an outing.
12. I will try very hard to avoid being out when Mari has to nap. However, if it's unavoidable and she falls asleep in her car seat, I will stay in the (intermittently warmed up, if necessary) parked car with her until she wakes up or has napped for a minimum of 45 minutes. Only then will I go in the house, since going in almost always wakes her up. If she falls asleep in the carrier or stroller, I will try to keep walking around outside for the same amount of time. However, if it's too cold, I will take her inside and keep walking around quietly indoors in hopes she won't wake up.
13. In the last stages of getting Mari down to sleep (naps and at night), I will do the "Pantley Dance" -- alternating periods of rocking and shushing with holding her still and quiet in my arms. I will do both a few times each until she is sleepy but not yet asleep. Then I will put her down.
14. If she seems in danger of falling asleep nursing, I will employ the "Pantley Pull-Off" (see http://www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull)
Anyway, here's the new plan, including the plan for naps. Unless otherwise stated, previous plans still apply.
1. For this 10-day plan only I will not try to schedule naps. I will instead look for sleepy cues and try to respond IMMEDIATELY by reading her a quick story, rocking to the point of drowsiness while singing a lullaby, then putting her down. I will try to feed and potty her at least 45 minutes before she's likely to fall asleep. (Feeding her immediately upon waking up has been totally unsuccessful and I will discontinue that attempt. She's too raring to go to settle down for a feed when she's just woken up.)
2. If I miss feeding her and pottying her before she shows me sleepy signs, I will feed and potty her immediately, limiting time on the potty to a minute or two regardless of if she goes. I will then rock her and put her down without a story or song.
3. I will keep track of naptimes for the next 10 days so I have a sense of when her natural tired times are. I will use the data to create a nap schedule for the next 10-day plan. For this 10-day plan I will only try to schedule bedtime, starting her bedtime routine at 6:30 every day so she's asleep sometime between 7:30 and 8.
4. I will make Mari's room darker for naps by sewing blackout fabric onto the backs of the bamboo blinds. (I already did this for one blind, but I don't think the fabric is dark or thick enough, so I'll add another layer.)
5. I will continue to co-nap with Mari for her morning nap for now, since the morning nap seems to be key. In any case, I usually need a nap too! If she starts to stir too early, I will put a hand on her before she wakes and shush her to try to keep her asleep. If she still wakes up after less than an hour, I will do whatever I have to do to get her back to sleep, including rocking and nursing.
6. For afternoon naps, I will put Mari down in her crib and leave the room so she gets more used to napping alone. I will, however, stay upstairs. I will enter the room immediately when I hear a sound and try to get her back to sleep if it has been less than an hour or if she seems cranky. Exception: if she napped long previously, seems happy and alert and has napped at least 30 minutes, I'll leave her be. She can have one nap a day of less than an hour, assuming three naps a day.
7. I will work on putting her down after less rocking, drowsy but not yet falling asleep, so she learns to fall asleep on her own in the crib. I will stay by her side for a little while, saying "shh," but I will now not keep a hand on her stomach unless she fusses. If she fusses, I will use the hand but I won't pick her up unless she starts to truly cry, or if she fusses for more than 5 minutes at naptime and doesn't seem to be trying to put herself to sleep. At night, I will leave the room 5 minutes after I put her down, even if she's still awake. At naptime, I'll stay in the room until she's very nearly asleep -- but not quite.
8. Since her weight gain has slowed, I'm OK with feeding her once or twice a night. Ideally I will do this once before I go to bed, in hopes her longest sleep stretch comes after I go to bed. However, if she doesn't wake up, or puts herself to sleep after less than five minutes of fussing, I will not wake her up to feed her, nor will I do a dream feed.
9. For night wakings, I will continue to let her fuss alone -- NOT cry -- for the following amounts of time:
- 5 minutes if it's just after I put her down and leave the room, but she's still clearly awake and not happy about being left alone.
- 15 minutes if she has already fallen asleep once for the night but less than three hours have passed since I put her down. If I end up having to go in and comfort her, I will not feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than 3 hours has passed since I put her down for the night. If she continues to fuss for more than five minutes, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- 15 minutes if I have already fed her once during the night and less than five hours have passed since then. If I go in, I won't feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than five hours have passed since her first night feeding. If I have to go in, I will feed her.
- 5 minutes at any time of the night if it has been less than 30 minutes since her last night waking and she was not fed at the last night waking. If this happens, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- At any time if she starts full-on crying, I will go in immediately. However, I will only feed her according to the above guidelines.
10. I will no longer hold Mari during her naps after she has fallen asleep, even if I picked her up after a premature awakening. If she wakes up prematurely, I will soothe her and put her down, up to twice. If she wakes up a third time after being put down, she can stay up.
11. I will make sure she gets at least some active tummy time between every nap, even if it's only for five minutes before an outing.
12. I will try very hard to avoid being out when Mari has to nap. However, if it's unavoidable and she falls asleep in her car seat, I will stay in the (intermittently warmed up, if necessary) parked car with her until she wakes up or has napped for a minimum of 45 minutes. Only then will I go in the house, since going in almost always wakes her up. If she falls asleep in the carrier or stroller, I will try to keep walking around outside for the same amount of time. However, if it's too cold, I will take her inside and keep walking around quietly indoors in hopes she won't wake up.
13. In the last stages of getting Mari down to sleep (naps and at night), I will do the "Pantley Dance" -- alternating periods of rocking and shushing with holding her still and quiet in my arms. I will do both a few times each until she is sleepy but not yet asleep. Then I will put her down.
14. If she seems in danger of falling asleep nursing, I will employ the "Pantley Pull-Off" (see http://www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull)
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