A few days of sleep hell

It's been a rough few days, too rough to give me much time to post. Today seems to be shaping up better, thank God. But I don't know what the hell happened to give Mari such awful naps for the last few days.

On Sunday, Mari entirely skipped her morning nap for the first time ever. She screamed and screamed as soon as I put her down at more or less the usual time and wouldn't stop no matter what. A few times, I tried letting her get up, then putting her down again once she seemed calm, but as soon as she realized I was trying to get her to nap, she started screaming at the top of her lungs again. Eventually I tried taking her for a walk in her stroller, but while this has always eventually worked in the past, even though it tends to produce only short naps, this time Mari didn't nap at all. At one point she seemed to be nodding off, but then she jerked her eyes open and wouldn't close them again.

Eventually, she had a nap earlier than her usual afternoon nap, but she wouldn't go down again later in the afternoon. So she was exhausted and overtired by her usual bedtime, and though I tried to put her down earlier than usual, she again had a screaming fit and didn't fall asleep until 8:35 -- more than an hour after her usual time.

On Monday, Mari was set to refuse her morning nap again, doing the same screaming trick. I took her for a walk again, and this time it worked -- she fell asleep in her stroller, albeit an hour later than her usual naptime. I was expecting it to be a short nap, but accepted that as being better than none. But Mari had another trick up her sleeve. She ended up napping for more than an hour and 45 minutes, during which time I had to keep walking the entire time, since I know from experience that even a brief stop -- i.e. to wait for a red light -- wakes her up. So it ended up being a more than two-hour walk in total, despite my inadequate footwear, lack of food or water, and pressing bladder needs. I walked to Waterloo and back twice, and all around the neighbourhood multiple times. A death march commanded by a little despot. And that afternoon her nap lasted only half an hour.

Yesterday, Mari fell asleep for her naps without too much fuss, but both were very short (about half an hour and 45 minutes respectively) and so she was overtired in the evening. I tried to get her down at 7:00, half an hour earlier than usual, but she screamed until 8:05, despite many efforts at soothing.

Today hasn't been so bad. She had decent naps, though not fantastic ones, and went down at night with only a minimum of fuss. Trouble is, I don't know what I did differently today from the other days. Sigh.

One thing, though, is that I'm starting to think Mari is having tantrums about being put down even though she's obviously tired and even though she no longer WANTS to be rocked or slept with. So when she screams like that, I feel at a complete loss. There's really nothing I can do to calm her down anymore except let her get up and play more, which only postpones the inevitable and makes the overtired fits worse in the end. It would be one thing to do that if I wasn't sure she was tired enough to go to sleep, but the last few days I've been sure she really is tired.

I am starting to rethink how much it's OK to let her cry/fuss. I still don't like the idea of letting her cry alone. But when she was younger, she seemed genuinely upset or afraid of being left alone. Now I'm starting to think it's more tantrum-type screaming, which I don't want to indulge. I think it's time to think more seriously about actual discipline -- not punishment, but deciding what we want to teach her and using consistent methods to teach those things. At nine months (tomorrow), Mari is no longer a little baby simply communicating her needs -- I think she's learning to manipulate.

Incidentally, I'm no longer going to count the days since I started the NCSS, which I've deviated from anyway.

Dy 108: 4:40 a.m. wake-up call

I don't know what's up with Mari. She had three great days of sleep in a row. Good long naps and sleeping all through the night without a single waking, not even to feed. Then on Friday, her morning nap was only 40 minutes long, and she woke up once at night. Fair enough. Then yesterday, she refused to go down for a morning nap until 11 a.m., when she's normally getting up, and then only managed a 40-minute nap in the afternoon. I tried to put her down early, but she wasn't having that. She screamed her head off before each nap and before bed. She woke up once at around 1 a.m. to feed, then was up again around 4:40 a.m.  I fed her and expected her to go back to sleep, but she started screeching again as soon as I was out of the room. I then went in again to rock her to sleep, and she did eventually fall asleep. I kept rocking her for about 10 minutes, then gently put her down, and she started screaming again. This time there was no getting her back down. Sigh. So it was an early morning for the whole household.

I don't know what happened to get her off track again. I don't feel like I did anything differently with her. And there she goes, crying again. Sigh...

Day 93: Teething? Growth spurt? Wonder week? Or just plain fussy?

Mari has become fussier than usual again for the last several days, and I can't quite tell why. When she cries, she's screaming louder. She's having more difficulty going down without a fuss. Though we really have been trying to keep her to her usual schedule, she seems more sensitive to the slightest variation.

Also, though it used to be that she almost never woke up before about 1 AM, for the last couple of nights in a row, she has been waking up after only a few hours of sleep and screaming at the top of her lungs. The only way I've been able to get her to calm down has been through nursing. She has drank greedily from the boob at those times, making me think maybe it's a growth spurt. She has been eating more during the day too.

But tonight, though I nursed her and put her down, and she was quiet for awhile, she soon started crying again. Jon is upstairs with her as I write this. So maybe something other than hunger is bugging her -- maybe her teeth. Mari has been sucking on things and drooling like crazy. However, she has been doing that since she was about three months old, and she just got her first two bottom teeth recently. A few days ago I thought I felt swelling in her upper gums, but now it seems to be gone. So how do I tell if it's teething or not?

Another thought is that Mari is coming up to Wonder Week 37 (though she's currently 35.5 weeks). (For more on Wonder Weeks, see the book by that name or the brief overview here.) She certainly is crankier, clingier and having more trouble sleeping, so that would fit.

But what this comes down to is that I feel like I have no clue as to what's going on with my kid. Sigh.

Day 89: Bedtime disaster

I am writing this post a little late, but it's about April 19, which was the biggest bedtime disaster since I began this blog.

Honestly, I'm not sure what happened. Yes, I got Mari to bed a little later than usual, but by just 10 minutes. This has happened before with no real consequence. She napped fairly well during the day. I knew she was getting tired at night, but Jon had a lot on his mind and I spent a bit of extra time talking to him after dinner. I then performed the usual bedtime routine and everything seemed fine. I put her down at 7:40. She was starting to fuss a bit, but I expected she'd be able to fall asleep. Instead, a few minutes after I left the room, she started screaming at the top of her lungs.

She was so upset, none of the usual tricks (rocking, bouncing, singing, etc.) made one iota of difference. She wouldn't nurse anymore; she'd just eaten. She has seldom cried quite so hard or so loudly. In desperation I let her get up for a little while to try to "reset" her. She watched her mobile (still hung over the now-unused co-sleeper), which she likes, then I turned the light on in her room and read her one more story. Then I tried to put her down again. As soon as her butt hit the mattress, she started screaming again, if anything even louder than before.

I picked her up right away. I was prepared to abandon my usual rules about having her fall asleep on her own. I just wanted her to calm down. But no matter what I did, she wouldn't calm down again. She didn't even seem to notice I was there. She screamed until I thought she'd lose her voice, then she screamed some more. I alternated between trying to soothe her and leaving her for a few minutes at a time in the hope she'd cry herself to sleep, even though I don't really believe in that method. Neither worked. Finally, in large part for the sake of my own sanity, I just left her and closed the door to my own room. I thought I'd give her 15 minutes to cry, but at the 15-minute mark, her cries FINALLY started to peter out, though she kept them up weakly for a further 10 minutes or so. She didn't fall asleep until nearly 9 PM.

Now I feel bad for having left her to cry it out because it wasn't planned. As I've stated before, I don't believe Mari needs to "cry it out." I tried it intentionally once. It didn't work well then and the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became with the idea. I don't want her to cry it out again. But I didn't know what else to do with a baby who wasn't responding to any of my soothing efforts at all. What would you do in this situation?

Day 62: The new, hopefully permanent sleep plan (draft)

(Published on Tuesday, Mar. 23, despite the incorrect date stamp above.)

Over the past two months, I've tried all sorts of things to get Mari to sleep better. Some have worked better than others. I thought they were worthy experiments, but consistency has been a problem. Also, it has taken me some time to work out exactly what I'm comfortable with in terms of crying. This plan is not a strictly no-cry plan, since it allows for up to five minutes of crying or 20 minutes of mild fussing between us going in. (For a discussion of the difference between fussing and crying, see http://sleeplittlebaby.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-41-talking-fussing-calling-crying.html) It isn't a cry-it-out plan either, since we will respond to crying fairly promptly, without trying to stretch out time between responses. However, it does have as a central feature the idea that we will no longer put her to sleep -- she is responsible for falling asleep on her own. So this plan is something of a hybrid between the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Ferberizing, though some elements have been taken from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and others I've simply made up based on what has worked with Mari so far.

This plan is subject to change after Jon has a close look at it. Feedback from other people is also more than welcome. Once I have that feedback and made changes if necessary, I hope to keep this plan in place more or less permanently, though of course we will change the schedule as Mari grows and her sleep needs change -- and if something really isn't working out, we'll change it. Anyway, here's the draft plan.

1.  Schedule: I will impose a schedule of nap times, bedtime and wake times, but with flexibility of up to half an hour on either side for naps, depending on how tired (or not) she seems and how long she slept the last time. I will try my best to maintain a more consistent bedtime, starting the bedtime routine as close to 6:30 as possible every night. If I absolutely have to break the schedule, I will try to get Mari back on track as soon as possible, but I will never wake her up from a nap, except in the unlikely event she naps later than 6:00 PM. The schedule will look like this:

7:00 AM: Up (See point #2)
9:00: Start naptime routine, set down by about 9:20 (see point #3)
9:30(ish): Asleep/quiet time (see point #6)
10:30: Active play time
1:00 PM: Start naptime routine, set down by about 1:20
1:30(ish): Asleep/quiet time
3:00: Active play time
(See point #7 for a discussion of the third nap)
6:30: Start bedtime routine, set down by about 7:20 (see point #4)
7:30(ish): Asleep


2. Morning wake-up time

• If Mari wakes up before 5:30 AM, I will treat it as a night waking. (See point #10)
• If Mari wakes up between 5:30 and 6:30, she's vulnerable to not being able to get back to sleep. So at this special time, I will do whatever it takes to get her back down, including nursing (if she hasn't yet had a second night feeding; see point #11) and rocking all the way to sleep.
• If Mari wakes up between 6:30 and 7:00 AM, I will ignore her even if she fusses mildly, keeping her in her crib with the blinds down and lights off, until 7:00. If she starts to full-on cry, I will use the procedures outlined in point #5.
• If Mari wakes up between 7:00 and 8:00, that's fine.
• If by some freak chance Mari hasn't woken up by 8:00, I will wake her up to protect her schedule.

3. The naptime routine will consist of:

• Trip to potty/change
• Two stories, one in Japanese and one in English (with the option to cut it off at one if she seems really tired)
• Blinds closed, white noise machine on
• Two lullabies while rocking if she lets me rock her, one in Japanese and one in English (with the option to cut it off at one or even part of one if she starts looking like she's going to fall asleep.)
• Put down in crib still awake but drowsy (with the option of putting her down while I'm still singing lullabies)
• Good"night" kiss and leave the room

4. The bedtime routine will consist of:

• Bath
• Massage
• Put on pajamas and disposable diaper
• One to three stories, the last of which is always Goodnight Moon
• Breastfeed (no trip to potty unless she obviously needs to poo or actually does so)
• Up to two lullabies while rocking (see note above)
• Put down in crib still awake but drowsy (with the option of putting her down while I'm still singing lullabies)
• Goodnight kiss and leave the room

5. Procedures if Mari fusses or cries once she has been put down for a nap or night sleep:

• If Mari mildly fusses, I will wait five minutes, then go in for her first check and soothe. This first soothing happens quickly because I want to let her know I haven't abandoned her just because I left the room. However, if it sounds like she's right on the point of falling asleep, I will wait up to five more minutes to see if she can fall asleep on her own.
• When soothing her, I will pick her up, shush her, rock her, stroke her hair, pat her bum -- whatever feels right. However, I will not do any of these things until she falls asleep. If she starts to close her eyes in my arms, I'll put her down immediately. I will avoid talking to her or turning on the light, as I don't want to stimulate her. I will strictly limit time in her room to no more than two minutes and will put her down still fully awake but hopefully calmer. If she doesn't calm down within two minutes, I'll still put her down and leave the room.
• If Mari continues to fuss, not full-on cry, I will check on her at 20-minute intervals, unless it sounds like she is very close to falling asleep at the 20-minute mark, in which case I will wait five more minutes. If the fussing turns into crying, see below.
• For naptime, if an hour has passed since I put her down and she has not fallen asleep, I will let her get up. If she seems really tired and hasn't slept at all, I will take her for a walk, weather permitting, and see if she falls asleep in the stroller or carrier. If the weather is bad, I may or may not take her for a car ride.If she falls asleep in the stroller/carrier/carseat, I will try to maintain the same environment until she wakes up on her own, but I won't try to put her back to sleep again until it's time for her next nap. If I decide not to take her for a car ride but I think she still might fall asleep soon, I will let her play quietly in her crib. If she doesn't want to be in her crib, I'll get her up fully. If she doesn't fall asleep, I'll let her stay up until the early end of the range for her next nap or bedtime.
• At bedtime, I will continue checking on her every 20 minutes indefinitely, as long as she's still fussing, not full-on crying. It's unlikely to ever come to this, though.
• If Mari starts to really cry or scream, sounding very upset, I will still not go in right away, since I don't want her to learn that we'll come running if she screams louder or longer. I will wait two minutes, then go in and soothe her as outlined above. I will still limit time in her room to two minutes. 
• If she continues to really cry, I will perform the check and soothe routine at five-minutes intervals. I don't think I'm rewarding her for being louder by going in more often, because my response is still not immediate and because my response will remain the same -- i.e. no rocking all the way to sleep. Also, if she continues to full-on cry despite my best efforts at soothing, I will still put her down after two minutes in her room and let her cry for up to five more minutes. See point #11 for a discussion of if I will nurse her at night.
• If at any point there is a real problem causing her to cry (i.e. she has vomited), I will fix it, even if it takes longer than two minutes and even if I have to turn on a dim light at night. However, once the problem has been fixed and she has calmed down, I will leave the room. I will still avoid rocking her all the way to sleep, though I may have to make temporary exceptions if she's sick or in pain.
•  Because there is a continuum between mild fussing and crying, if I'm unsure about which category it falls into, I'll treat it as crying. The point is not to ignore an upset baby -- I want her to know we're here and we will always respond to her quite promptly if she's upset. On the other hand, Mari often seems to need to "talk" or mildly fuss a bit to put herself to sleep, and I don't want to rob her of the opportunity to do so.

6. Quiet time: Procedures if Mari wakes up from a morning or early afternoon nap of less than an hour

• I will go in right away and do anything I can to get her back down, though that will include nursing only if it's an appropriate time to nurse (see point #8) or if she's showing signs of hunger. If she starts to fall asleep in my arms, I will gently put her down. If putting her down upsets her and she doesn't seem to be trying to fall back asleep, I will pick her up again rock her all the way to sleep before trying to put her down. If she wakes up a second time, I will rock her to sleep again. If she wakes up a third time, I'll let her stay up for quiet time.
• If after 10 minutes of soothing, it seems like there's no way she'll go back down, or if I have tried and failed twice to put her down, I'll give her some toys and let her play quietly alone in the crib. I will keep the blinds down and white noise machine on until the end of quiet time as per the schedule in point #1. 
• If I started the naptime routine earlier or later than usual, quiet time is to last an hour from the time I put her down. 

7. The third nap: RESCINDED -- MARI ISN'T GOING TO TAKE A THIRD NAP ANYMORE.

• It appears Mari has pretty much given up her late afternoon nap. However, if she seems really tired around when she used to have her third nap (between 4:00 and 5:30), I will take her upstairs and perform the naptime routine as fast as possible.
• If she falls asleep, great. If she fusses, I will do a check and soothe at the five-minute mark, then again if necessary after another 10 minutes, not 20 (five minutes, as always, if she full-on cries). If at that point she doesn't seem likely to fall asleep, I will give her quiet time in her crib, with toys, for another 15 minutes, for a total of 30 minutes of quiet time. If she doesn't fall asleep but doesn't fuss either, I'll let her be for a total of 30 minutes of quiet time.
• If she never seems tired enough to go down for a third nap, I won't worry about it and won't try to institute a late-afternoon quiet time.
• If she does fall asleep, I will limit the third nap to a maximum of one hour, or until 6:00 PM, whichever comes first.
• If she starts to seem really tired between 5:30 and 6:30 PM, I'll start her bedtime routine a little early instead of trying to give her a third nap.

8. Daytime breastfeeding: Since Mari is now usually having only two naps, feedings will no longer be tied to naptimes or bedtimes.

• I will feed her soon after she wakes up in the morning, then every three hours or so thereafter during the day, sooner if she shows signs of hunger. 
• If she refuses to nurse on the three-hour mark, I will wait half an hour and offer the boob again. If she shows signs of hunger before that, I will offer the boob sooner. 
• If it has been more than two hours since she last ate and she's about to go for an outing or down for a nap, I will offer her the boob before the outing or nap. 
• If she refuses to nurse before a nap, I won't worry about it and will put her down for the nap regardless. 
• I will try to avoid lengthy outings if she hasn't eaten beforehand (a short outing is OK) because she's too easily distracted these days to nurse in public.

9. Solid food: Mari will be offered fruit or cereal when we're having breakfast and some of whatever we're having at lunch and dinner. She may sometimes skip solids at lunch, but she should always be offered solids at breakfast and dinner. Breakfast will usually start between 7:30 and 8 AM, lunch between 12:00 and 12:30 PM and dinner between 5:30 and 6:00.

10. Night wakings and night feedings:

• If Mari starts to mildly fuss (not cry) at night, I will let her fuss alone for up to 10 (not five) minutes or until fussing turns into crying. If necessary, I will encourage Jon to put in his earplugs and shut the door while I go to the guest room with the door open so I can accurately gauge the quality of her cries. 
• After 10 minutes of fussing, I will do a check and soothe as outlined in point #5 OR feed her as outlined in point #11.
• If it isn't an appropriate time for a feeding, I will let her mildly fuss for 20 minutes before doing another check and soothe if necessary.
• If she starts to really cry, I will wait two minutes the first time, then do a check and soothe OR feed her as outlined in point #11.
• If she continues to full-on cry and it isn't an appropriate time for a feeding, I will check and soothe once every five minutes. 
• If she has been full-on crying for a total of 15 minutes, despite two soothing sessions in the middle, and it's within an hour of a normally acceptable time for a feed (i.e. four hours since she was put down or two hours since her last night feeding), I will feed her.

11. Night feedings:

• I will feed her no more than twice at night. Her first feeding can be a full one and can occur anytime after she has been down for a minimum of five hours. Her second feeding can occur anytime after she has been down for a minimum of three hours after her first feeding. 
• I will make exceptions to the above if she has been crying hard for 15 minutes as outlined above, or if she is going through a growth spurt or teething. In those cases, I will feed up to three times a night. However, after the growth spurt or teething is over, I will return to a maximum of two night feedings.
• I AM RESCINDING ALL POINTS FROM HERE ON DOWN: I am spending this month (from seven to eight months old) trying to wean her from the second night feeding, on the following schedule:
• Mar. 20-27: I will offer only one breast at the second night feeding. If she fusses for more than 10 minutes after I put her down or wakes up again within 30 minutes of getting the first breast, I will offer the second breast.
• Mar. 27-Apr. 3: I will offer only one breast at the second night feeding. If she fusses for more than 10 minutes after I put her down or wakes up again within 30 minutes after getting the first breast, I will offer the second breast, but I will limit her time on it to seven minutes the first night, six the second night, five the third night, etc.
• Apr. 3-10: I will offer only one breast at the second night feeding. If she fusses or wakes up again I will use only my check and soothe techniques to try to get her back to sleep.
• Apr. 10-20: I will start to limit time on the first breast to 10 minutes the first night, nine minutes the second night, and so on.
• I will try to wean her from the first (and hopefully by then only) night feeding in a similar way between the eight-month mark and the nine-month mark.

Day 49: Abort mission (at least for now)

I started off today with great intentions to continue with the crying it out. I started getting Mari ready for her first nap around 8 AM, when she had been up about an hour, but she was obviously already tired and cranky -- I really should have started earlier, since she yawned almost as soon as I went to get her in the morning. I assumed she was yawning because she had just woken up, but maybe she had actually woken up earlier and played quietly until she got sick of it.

Anyway, I rocked her and sang her lullabies and at a few points I was sure it was going to work. Mari was closing her eyes and was almost asleep. Then I'd put her down and she'd start to cry. I'd pick her back up and soothe her again, put her down again and she'd cry. A couple of times she also started to fall asleep in my arms, and before I could even set her down, she'd jerk herself awake and start crying again.

By 8:35, it was time to put her down, so I did. Soon she started crying. I left her for awhile. But then Jon asked me if he could "go in." I assumed he meant he was leaving to go to the university. I didn't realize he meant into Mari's room until he was already in there. So I abandoned the CIO effort, since I figured she'd be confused.

Also, Mari was more resistant than usual to going down for the night last night. I don't know if that was just coincidence or because she remembered how long she'd had to cry in the morning and was afraid of the crib or something.

I thought about trying again tomorrow, but Beth, who sometimes comments on here, convinced me I should look into Dr. Richard Ferber's methods too. So I got Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems from the library today. I'll read that too before deciding how to go about this. I may well end up going the full-on extinction cry-it-out route anyway, but I need some more time to think about it and do research. I don't feel 100% convinced or committed to any one method at this point, so I'll wait until I am.

Day 41: Talking, fussing, calling, crying and screaming

I used to think if a baby made noise at night, a parent needed to respond right away, no matter what the noise. I thought anything else was leaving the baby to "cry it out," and that was cruel. But slowly, I've been changing my mind.

I've been developing the theory that Mari's nighttime and pre-falling-asleep vocalizations come in five varieties: talking, fussing/whining, calling, crying and screaming, and that I should vary my response to her based on what type of vocalization it is. Please note both her cries and my responses are different at naptime; this is only for night sleep.

Talking: She doesn't sound upset, just using her voice. If she was old enough to say more than "ah-eh" and "oogie" it would sound like she was saying: "...and then we went to the store and Mommy bought me new socks..."  If she's "talking," I leave her indefinitely, until she falls asleep or gets upset.


Fussing/whining: She's a bit upset, but not too much. It sounds at first blush like crying, but the sounds are fairly quiet, intermittent and sound more annoyed or whiny than really upset. If she could talk, it would sound like she was saying, "I'm bored," "I'm tired" or "this sucks." I feel comfortable leaving her to fuss for between five and 20 minutes, depending on just how upset she sounds. I go in if the fussing turns into crying, but often she manages to put herself to sleep. Exception: if it's just after I've put her down for the night but she still hasn't fallen asleep and is getting upset, I go in fairly quickly (after only a few minutes of fussing) for a quick cuddle, then I set her back down still awake. The one-time "Mummy may have left the room but she hasn't abandoned you" visit seems to reassure her and she almost always falls asleep quickly afterward. I'm not sure if I should keep doing this but for now it seems to work.

Calling: She's a little upset, but I get the impression she's testing my boundaries more than anything else. The cries are louder than fusses but very intermittent -- from several seconds to as much as two minutes between cries. If she could talk, she'd be saying: "Mum! Where are you?" "Come pick me up!" Or: "Waiter!" "What's a baby got to do to get service around here?" Often calling is intermingled with fussing, and I respond the same way, on the same timeline.

Crying: She's really upset or hungry and there's no way to translate the sounds into speech because even if she could talk, she'd still be crying. I only wait a minute or two to make sure she's really awake and not crying out in her sleep (unlikely) before going in to comfort her. My response would usually include nursing, unless she ate less than three hours ago. Often if she's hungry the sounds start off as fussing but become more insistent and more like crying quite quickly.


Screaming: A panicked scream, again no way to translate into speech. Will either turn into crying if she's awake or it's a night terror, in which case she's not really awake and will quickly stop. Though she sounds more upset than if she's crying, I wait a little longer before going in -- a few minutes -- because it's reasonably likely it's a night terror. If she keeps screaming, I have to turn on a dim light so I can see well enough to make sure there isn't anything hurting her, though that's never yet been the case. I may have to revise that when she starts teething.

Today: A good day for naps. Mari slept only an hour and ten minutes in the morning, less than I like to see, but unusually she slept for two straight hours in the afternoon -- no waking up and me having to put her back to sleep. Her late-afternoon nap was only half an hour, but this is becoming more common and seems to be OK.

I think I have to slightly revise the schedule I set out the other day, since Mari seldom wakes up after 7 AM, so it's impractical to try to keep her sleeping and/or quiet until 7:30. So I will let her have active time from 7 AM until the naptime routine starts at 8:15. Also, if she has a decent but not two-hour morning nap, I will let her have active time starting at 10:30, not 11.

Day 33: Six-month-old nap resister

I tried to do everything right today. I watched Mari carefully for signs of fatigue and tried to put her down for her naps as soon as I saw them. For the morning nap, this didn't work out too badly. She slept for an hour and 45 minutes, waking up at 10:30. I thought this was an acceptable nap.

We took some pictures to celebrate her 6-month half-birthday. But after less than an hour of being up, she started yawning, rubbing her eyes and looking away, where normally she's up two to two and a half hours before she needs to nap again. I thought it seemed too soon, but I tried to put her down. I fed her, I read to her, I rocked her, I sang to her, I put her down... but though she didn't seem very energetic, she would not close her eyes.

After 45 or 50 minutes of trying various techniques to get her to fall asleep, I thought maybe I'd misinterpreted. Maybe she was yawning because she'd just woken up. Maybe she was looking away from her toys because she was bored. Maybe she was rubbing her eyes because... I dunno... it was bright? (Though it wasn't, not really.) So I let her play alone in her crib for 15 minutes before trying again to put her down.

Big mistake. It was by now past the time she normally falls asleep, and she was now overtired and fussy. I tried to rock her and put her down in her crib as usual. She screamed. I tried to lie down beside her in our bed for a co-nap. She screamed. I walked, I rocked, I sang, I shushed, I nursed, I gave her the pacifier, I jiggled, I turned on the mobile... everything I could think of. She screamed and screamed. Finally I made Jon put her down because I figured we were heartily sick of each other by then, and Mari often reacts better to the fresher parent. It was about 1:45 by the time she fell asleep, nearly two and a half hours after she first started showing signs of fatigue.

For her late-afternoon nap, Mari again showed signs of fatigue and I tried to put her down. It took me 45 minutes after the end of the naptime routine for her to fall asleep.

I know I may have been trying too many techniques to get her to sleep and actually ended up overstimulating her. But she was crying so hard I wanted to figure out how to make her stop. Whatever new thing I was doing would often make her stop temporarily. Then she would start again. Argh!

Any advice on how to get a little nap resister to nap would be much appreciated.