Damn. Mari didn't sleep through the night last night, for the first time in over a week. She was close, since I'm still defining "through the night" as one five-hour stretch -- she had a 4.5-hour stretch. But it has underlined to me that I still need to be emphasizing the nighttime sleep plan as much as ever. I'll probably need to do that until well into childhood, though of course there will be significant changes to the plan before then.
Anyway, here's the new plan, including the plan for naps. Unless otherwise stated, previous plans still apply.
1. For this 10-day plan only I will not try to schedule naps. I will instead look for sleepy cues and try to respond IMMEDIATELY by reading her a quick story, rocking to the point of drowsiness while singing a lullaby, then putting her down. I will try to feed and potty her at least 45 minutes before she's likely to fall asleep. (Feeding her immediately upon waking up has been totally unsuccessful and I will discontinue that attempt. She's too raring to go to settle down for a feed when she's just woken up.)
2. If I miss feeding her and pottying her before she shows me sleepy signs, I will feed and potty her immediately, limiting time on the potty to a minute or two regardless of if she goes. I will then rock her and put her down without a story or song.
3. I will keep track of naptimes for the next 10 days so I have a sense of when her natural tired times are. I will use the data to create a nap schedule for the next 10-day plan. For this 10-day plan I will only try to schedule bedtime, starting her bedtime routine at 6:30 every day so she's asleep sometime between 7:30 and 8.
4. I will make Mari's room darker for naps by sewing blackout fabric onto the backs of the bamboo blinds. (I already did this for one blind, but I don't think the fabric is dark or thick enough, so I'll add another layer.)
5. I will continue to co-nap with Mari for her morning nap for now, since the morning nap seems to be key. In any case, I usually need a nap too! If she starts to stir too early, I will put a hand on her before she wakes and shush her to try to keep her asleep. If she still wakes up after less than an hour, I will do whatever I have to do to get her back to sleep, including rocking and nursing.
6. For afternoon naps, I will put Mari down in her crib and leave the room so she gets more used to napping alone. I will, however, stay upstairs. I will enter the room immediately when I hear a sound and try to get her back to sleep if it has been less than an hour or if she seems cranky. Exception: if she napped long previously, seems happy and alert and has napped at least 30 minutes, I'll leave her be. She can have one nap a day of less than an hour, assuming three naps a day.
7. I will work on putting her down after less rocking, drowsy but not yet falling asleep, so she learns to fall asleep on her own in the crib. I will stay by her side for a little while, saying "shh," but I will now not keep a hand on her stomach unless she fusses. If she fusses, I will use the hand but I won't pick her up unless she starts to truly cry, or if she fusses for more than 5 minutes at naptime and doesn't seem to be trying to put herself to sleep. At night, I will leave the room 5 minutes after I put her down, even if she's still awake. At naptime, I'll stay in the room until she's very nearly asleep -- but not quite.
8. Since her weight gain has slowed, I'm OK with feeding her once or twice a night. Ideally I will do this once before I go to bed, in hopes her longest sleep stretch comes after I go to bed. However, if she doesn't wake up, or puts herself to sleep after less than five minutes of fussing, I will not wake her up to feed her, nor will I do a dream feed.
9. For night wakings, I will continue to let her fuss alone -- NOT cry -- for the following amounts of time:
- 5 minutes if it's just after I put her down and leave the room, but she's still clearly awake and not happy about being left alone.
- 15 minutes if she has already fallen asleep once for the night but less than three hours have passed since I put her down. If I end up having to go in and comfort her, I will not feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than 3 hours has passed since I put her down for the night. If she continues to fuss for more than five minutes, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- 15 minutes if I have already fed her once during the night and less than five hours have passed since then. If I go in, I won't feed her.
- 5 minutes if more than five hours have passed since her first night feeding. If I have to go in, I will feed her.
- 5 minutes at any time of the night if it has been less than 30 minutes since her last night waking and she was not fed at the last night waking. If this happens, I will feed her immediately upon going in.
- At any time if she starts full-on crying, I will go in immediately. However, I will only feed her according to the above guidelines.
10. I will no longer hold Mari during her naps after she has fallen asleep, even if I picked her up after a premature awakening. If she wakes up prematurely, I will soothe her and put her down, up to twice. If she wakes up a third time after being put down, she can stay up.
11. I will make sure she gets at least some active tummy time between every nap, even if it's only for five minutes before an outing.
12. I will try very hard to avoid being out when Mari has to nap. However, if it's unavoidable and she falls asleep in her car seat, I will stay in the (intermittently warmed up, if necessary) parked car with her until she wakes up or has napped for a minimum of 45 minutes. Only then will I go in the house, since going in almost always wakes her up. If she falls asleep in the carrier or stroller, I will try to keep walking around outside for the same amount of time. However, if it's too cold, I will take her inside and keep walking around quietly indoors in hopes she won't wake up.
13. In the last stages of getting Mari down to sleep (naps and at night), I will do the "Pantley Dance" -- alternating periods of rocking and shushing with holding her still and quiet in my arms. I will do both a few times each until she is sleepy but not yet asleep. Then I will put her down.
14. If she seems in danger of falling asleep nursing, I will employ the "Pantley Pull-Off" (see http://www.pregnancy.org/article/when-your-baby-wakes-frequently-feed-pantley-pull)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Day 29: Natural schedule changing?
Mari had a good but unusual day for naps today. Instead of three shorter naps, she had two two-hour naps. She seemed well-rested and was in a good mood most of the day.
I wish I could say it was because of something I did differently, but it wasn't. She's just unpredictable. However, today made me think maybe Mari's changing her natural schedule, such as it is. She suddenly also seems to want to stay up longer. Only a short time ago she was always tired after two hours of being up, sometimes sooner. Lately trying to get her down after two hours has been a struggle, and today she was up for a couple of three-hour stretches. So maybe part of the problem with her naps has been that I've been trying to make her sleep when she wasn't tired yet.
Not everything today went exactly as I would like. She woke up briefly in the middle of the first and had to be nursed back to sleep. Also, she slept in our bed for both naps, though for the second, amazingly, I was able to leave her quickly and she still kept sleeping.
Regardless, maybe I'll lay off a bit on trying to schedule her for the next week or so. Instead, I'll feed her, potty her and read her a story in advance of when she usually gets tired and use that as a signal to begin quieter play. Then I'll pay close attention to her tired cues and when I see them, I'll get her down right away in the best possible environment for sleep. Maybe if I do all that, she'll show me some sort of pattern.
As I understand things, babies can be in transition between three naps and two for quite awhile, so it's likely she'll still need three naps most of the time, which will make the days' schedules different. But a little more observation will hopefully give me a better idea of if I do need to shift her schedule.
I wish I could say it was because of something I did differently, but it wasn't. She's just unpredictable. However, today made me think maybe Mari's changing her natural schedule, such as it is. She suddenly also seems to want to stay up longer. Only a short time ago she was always tired after two hours of being up, sometimes sooner. Lately trying to get her down after two hours has been a struggle, and today she was up for a couple of three-hour stretches. So maybe part of the problem with her naps has been that I've been trying to make her sleep when she wasn't tired yet.
Not everything today went exactly as I would like. She woke up briefly in the middle of the first and had to be nursed back to sleep. Also, she slept in our bed for both naps, though for the second, amazingly, I was able to leave her quickly and she still kept sleeping.
Regardless, maybe I'll lay off a bit on trying to schedule her for the next week or so. Instead, I'll feed her, potty her and read her a story in advance of when she usually gets tired and use that as a signal to begin quieter play. Then I'll pay close attention to her tired cues and when I see them, I'll get her down right away in the best possible environment for sleep. Maybe if I do all that, she'll show me some sort of pattern.
As I understand things, babies can be in transition between three naps and two for quite awhile, so it's likely she'll still need three naps most of the time, which will make the days' schedules different. But a little more observation will hopefully give me a better idea of if I do need to shift her schedule.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Day 28: Nap log day
I spent the day keeping track of Mari's naps and her daily schedule. It may not have been the best day to do it, since she didn't have a typical day for naps. But then, she doesn't really have a typical nap day, which is a big part of the problem.
She had three naps today: 9:10-10:30, 12:00-12:30 and 3:00-3:55. This totals only 2 hours, 45 minutes, when usually I like to see her nap about 3 1/2 hours. I consider between 3 and 4 hours acceptable, as does the No-Cry Nap Solution.
Because she napped so little and seemed overtired in the early evening, I put her to bed at 6:35, when usually she isn't sleeping until about 8:00. I didn't know what else to do, since she was clearly exhausted and it seemed too late for a fourth nap.
The naps themselves were full of Mari's usual bad habits -- or at least, habits I'd like to change. The first nap, she co-napped with me in our bed. I'm OK with this once in awhile but I don't like having to do it every day. Though that first nap was more than an hour, she seems to like to have two-hour naps in the morning and she was still obviously tired and cranky afterward, crying as soon as I left her alone to play for a minute.
She started showing tired signs less than an hour after waking up from her first nap, so I tried to get her down again right away. But despite her obvious fatigue, I had trouble. I tried to get her to finish the falling-asleep process on her own in the crib, after having rocked her to a very sleepy state. But she seemed wide awake the second she was in the crib and started to fuss. So I gave in and rocked her all the way to sleep. I stayed with her for the entire nap and tried to resettle her as soon as she showed signs of stirring, but she woke up anyway and I couldn't get her back down.
Despite the very short second nap, this time Mari seemed reasonably energetic and in an OK mood, so I waited until she started to seem tired to try to put her down. At first I thought it had gone well because she fell asleep quickly (actually too quickly, when she was still in my arms) and stayed asleep when I put her down. I stayed with her again to try to keep her asleep, but it backfired -- I was trying to read, a page rustled and my little light sleeper woke up. I rocked her to sleep again, held her for awhile, put her back down, and then the same thing occurred. So I ended up holding her for most of the rest of her nap. Maybe she would have napped longer if I hadn't had to go to the bathroom, but nature called, I put her down, and what do you know, she was up again.
Unfortunately all this is typical. My goals for the No-Cry Nap Solution journey:
- To not have to stay with her during her naps
- To get her to fall asleep on her own, in her crib
- To get her to nap longer
- To stop holding her during her naps
- To try to get her to nap at predictable times of day
- If she wakes up before I think she should, not to have to nurse her back to sleep as I often do
- To stop rocking her all the way to sleep
Today's nighttime sleep, since we're still very much on the No-Cry Sleep Solution: Last night Mari had a good 11-hour sleep. She cried out a couple of times but not long enough or loudly enough that I had to go to her; she apparently put herself back to sleep very quickly. However, I fear tonight isn't going to be as good. She has already woken up once (at about 9 PM) and sounded upset enough I went to her nearly right away and nursed her, though it hadn't yet been anywhere near five hours since I put her down. Her daytime sleep was more disrupted than usual so I guess I can expect the same at night. Sigh.
She had three naps today: 9:10-10:30, 12:00-12:30 and 3:00-3:55. This totals only 2 hours, 45 minutes, when usually I like to see her nap about 3 1/2 hours. I consider between 3 and 4 hours acceptable, as does the No-Cry Nap Solution.
Because she napped so little and seemed overtired in the early evening, I put her to bed at 6:35, when usually she isn't sleeping until about 8:00. I didn't know what else to do, since she was clearly exhausted and it seemed too late for a fourth nap.
The naps themselves were full of Mari's usual bad habits -- or at least, habits I'd like to change. The first nap, she co-napped with me in our bed. I'm OK with this once in awhile but I don't like having to do it every day. Though that first nap was more than an hour, she seems to like to have two-hour naps in the morning and she was still obviously tired and cranky afterward, crying as soon as I left her alone to play for a minute.
She started showing tired signs less than an hour after waking up from her first nap, so I tried to get her down again right away. But despite her obvious fatigue, I had trouble. I tried to get her to finish the falling-asleep process on her own in the crib, after having rocked her to a very sleepy state. But she seemed wide awake the second she was in the crib and started to fuss. So I gave in and rocked her all the way to sleep. I stayed with her for the entire nap and tried to resettle her as soon as she showed signs of stirring, but she woke up anyway and I couldn't get her back down.
Despite the very short second nap, this time Mari seemed reasonably energetic and in an OK mood, so I waited until she started to seem tired to try to put her down. At first I thought it had gone well because she fell asleep quickly (actually too quickly, when she was still in my arms) and stayed asleep when I put her down. I stayed with her again to try to keep her asleep, but it backfired -- I was trying to read, a page rustled and my little light sleeper woke up. I rocked her to sleep again, held her for awhile, put her back down, and then the same thing occurred. So I ended up holding her for most of the rest of her nap. Maybe she would have napped longer if I hadn't had to go to the bathroom, but nature called, I put her down, and what do you know, she was up again.
Unfortunately all this is typical. My goals for the No-Cry Nap Solution journey:
- To not have to stay with her during her naps
- To get her to fall asleep on her own, in her crib
- To get her to nap longer
- To stop holding her during her naps
- To try to get her to nap at predictable times of day
- If she wakes up before I think she should, not to have to nurse her back to sleep as I often do
- To stop rocking her all the way to sleep
Today's nighttime sleep, since we're still very much on the No-Cry Sleep Solution: Last night Mari had a good 11-hour sleep. She cried out a couple of times but not long enough or loudly enough that I had to go to her; she apparently put herself back to sleep very quickly. However, I fear tonight isn't going to be as good. She has already woken up once (at about 9 PM) and sounded upset enough I went to her nearly right away and nursed her, though it hadn't yet been anywhere near five hours since I put her down. Her daytime sleep was more disrupted than usual so I guess I can expect the same at night. Sigh.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Day 27: In other news...
OK, so I'm not done my nap plan yet. But it occurred to me I've been blogging about Mari's sleep rather in isolation of her other developmental milestones, which I'm sure have affected her sleep habits.Since we started the NCSS, Mari has learned to sit up unsupported -- actually the day after we started, on Jan. 20, the day she turned five months old. When she's not too tired, she sits solidly enough now for me to be able to leave her playing alone while seated, though I still leave pillows around her as insurance, because she does tend to topple after awhile.
She has also started eating solids. We're doing baby-led weaning (here's the website of Gill Rapley, the woman who really started the movement; I have her book: www.rapleyweaning.com) and had her first food on Jan. 26 -- she licked and sucked on a piece of red pepper she grabbed off my plate. She first used a spoon by herself on Feb. 10 and managed to drink an ounce of breastmilk out of a regular glass the next day. (She is still spurning the sippy cup, though, as well as the bottle.)In the last few days she has learned to jump in her exersaucer and has figured out how to operate the musical toy on said exersaucer.
She also seems to be trying to learn to creep. She has managed to push herself backwards a few times and is now pretty good at spinning around on her belly, but forward movement has been elusive so far. However, she can raise her chest a long way off the ground, sometimes with her head back at an angle that would make a contortionist jealous. She can raise her bum off the ground too -- just not at the same time as her chest yet.
So there you have it -- she's been a busy little monkey.
Today: Mari had a nice two-hour nap in the morning but her latter two naps were short. Still, she seemed not too badly off, unlike the other day, when she had a short morning nap and was terribly moody. I think the morning nap is key. Last night her sleep wasn't quite as good, though I can't really complain -- she had an 8 3/4-hour stretch of sleep. But she woke up at 4:45 AM and wouldn't go back to sleep for another hour. So I've been tired today. I'm not sure whether I should now just refuse to nurse her at night now that she's proven she can do it. Any input on that would be much appreciated.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Day 25: Nighttime sleep success, naptime sleep failure
I think I can tentatively say MARI HAS STARTED SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! I'm so happy!
Last night Mari slept for 11 hours, from about 8 p.m. to 7 a.m., without a single peep. In her crib, in her room. Without sleeping on her tummy. Without a dream feed. And she woke up happy and well-rested, not obviously starving, though with a good appetite once I did feed her. I'm so conditioned to waking up at night that I woke up at about 3:30 a.m., boobs sore and swollen, but even so, I had the best night's sleep I've had since before Mari was born.
The three nights prior too, she technically slept through the night, if one defines "through the night" as five hours. I don't know yet what tonight will hold, but as I write this it's nearly midnight and Mari has yet to utter a peep, so I'm optimistic.
What's more, she has put herself to sleep without me in the room for the last three nights running. I've still been doing her bedtime routine and getting her good and sleepy, but then I've put her in the crib, stayed with her for another couple of minutes, kissed her goodnight and left. Tonight she "talked" a little after I left, but only for a minute or two. Then, blessed silence.
I know not to count on a good night every night, and I know there may be further sleep regressions ahead, but I think both of us have finally learned she is capable of putting herself to sleep and back to sleep, and staying asleep all night or at least most of the night. It feels like a miracle.
Now, if only her napping habits would improve. Today was actually a particularly bad day for naps. She only had a 45-minute nap in the morning and a 30-minute nap in the early afternoon. Her late-afternoon nap totaled two hours but she woke up in the middle and the only way I could get her back down was to nurse her back to sleep, which I really don't like doing. What's more, I or Jon had to stay with her for all her naps, as we've been doing pretty much all her life with rare exceptions, and even so we weren't always able to keep her asleep or get her back to sleep.
It's not that Mari doesn't need to nap as much anymore, because she was obviously overtired and cranky most of the day today, going from laughter to tears like a bipolar mosquito on a roller coaster. Maybe tonight's sleep was saved by her last, lengthier nap, but the day was hard on me because she spent a lot of time screaming shrilly.
I've now read over the No-Cry Nap Solution and will log the day tomorrow and try to create a plan. I must say, I've already started trying to use Elizabeth Pantley's two main suggestions to get a short napper to nap longer and they haven't been working. But maybe things will improve when I've put together an integrated plan to improve her napping.
Last night Mari slept for 11 hours, from about 8 p.m. to 7 a.m., without a single peep. In her crib, in her room. Without sleeping on her tummy. Without a dream feed. And she woke up happy and well-rested, not obviously starving, though with a good appetite once I did feed her. I'm so conditioned to waking up at night that I woke up at about 3:30 a.m., boobs sore and swollen, but even so, I had the best night's sleep I've had since before Mari was born.
The three nights prior too, she technically slept through the night, if one defines "through the night" as five hours. I don't know yet what tonight will hold, but as I write this it's nearly midnight and Mari has yet to utter a peep, so I'm optimistic.
What's more, she has put herself to sleep without me in the room for the last three nights running. I've still been doing her bedtime routine and getting her good and sleepy, but then I've put her in the crib, stayed with her for another couple of minutes, kissed her goodnight and left. Tonight she "talked" a little after I left, but only for a minute or two. Then, blessed silence.
I know not to count on a good night every night, and I know there may be further sleep regressions ahead, but I think both of us have finally learned she is capable of putting herself to sleep and back to sleep, and staying asleep all night or at least most of the night. It feels like a miracle.
Now, if only her napping habits would improve. Today was actually a particularly bad day for naps. She only had a 45-minute nap in the morning and a 30-minute nap in the early afternoon. Her late-afternoon nap totaled two hours but she woke up in the middle and the only way I could get her back down was to nurse her back to sleep, which I really don't like doing. What's more, I or Jon had to stay with her for all her naps, as we've been doing pretty much all her life with rare exceptions, and even so we weren't always able to keep her asleep or get her back to sleep.
It's not that Mari doesn't need to nap as much anymore, because she was obviously overtired and cranky most of the day today, going from laughter to tears like a bipolar mosquito on a roller coaster. Maybe tonight's sleep was saved by her last, lengthier nap, but the day was hard on me because she spent a lot of time screaming shrilly.
I've now read over the No-Cry Nap Solution and will log the day tomorrow and try to create a plan. I must say, I've already started trying to use Elizabeth Pantley's two main suggestions to get a short napper to nap longer and they haven't been working. But maybe things will improve when I've put together an integrated plan to improve her napping.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Day 23: Woo hoo!
Mari fell asleep on her own! For the first time ever! I did her usual bedtime routine and stayed with her for quite a long time after I put her down, but I didn't pick her up. And then I left. And she stopped making noise after 10 or so minutes. Incredible.
Also, she has been doing better on the sleep stretches, especially if I don't count the times she fusses but manages to put herself back to sleep within less than 10 minutes. If I count only the times I had to go in to put her back to sleep, the night before last she had a wonderful six-hour sleep stretch, and last night, nearly five hours. Tonight hasn't worked out quite as well, but I never expected progress to be perfectly linear.
Naps, however, are another story -- especially keeping her asleep long enough to have a decent rest. One of her naps today was only 15 minutes, and I spent nearly an hour beforehand trying to put her down. Maybe the day is approaching when she can go down to two naps a day, but I don't think it's quite here yet -- she still gets tired and cranky quickly.
I've been thinking maybe I need to change her routine, so she eats soon after she gets up instead of before she naps, so that she can go down for her naps more quickly when she's tired and so it's clearer to me if she's fussing because of hunger or because of fatigue. I'll try that tomorrow, and I'll spend a few days just trying to put her down as soon as possible when she seems tired, so I can see if her schedule needs adjusting. I'll continue to feed her just shortly before she goes to bed for the night, though.
Also, she has been doing better on the sleep stretches, especially if I don't count the times she fusses but manages to put herself back to sleep within less than 10 minutes. If I count only the times I had to go in to put her back to sleep, the night before last she had a wonderful six-hour sleep stretch, and last night, nearly five hours. Tonight hasn't worked out quite as well, but I never expected progress to be perfectly linear.
Naps, however, are another story -- especially keeping her asleep long enough to have a decent rest. One of her naps today was only 15 minutes, and I spent nearly an hour beforehand trying to put her down. Maybe the day is approaching when she can go down to two naps a day, but I don't think it's quite here yet -- she still gets tired and cranky quickly.
I've been thinking maybe I need to change her routine, so she eats soon after she gets up instead of before she naps, so that she can go down for her naps more quickly when she's tired and so it's clearer to me if she's fussing because of hunger or because of fatigue. I'll try that tomorrow, and I'll spend a few days just trying to put her down as soon as possible when she seems tired, so I can see if her schedule needs adjusting. I'll continue to feed her just shortly before she goes to bed for the night, though.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Day 22: The new 10-day plan
Once again I haven't managed to formally set down the plan until today, but I've been more or less implementing the points below for the last couple of days.
The last plan stays in place, with the following changes:
1. I will start the naptime routine 45 minutes, not 30 minutes, before I want Mari to sleep. While in some ways this is a step backwards, since the ideal would be a shorter naptime routine, the fact is that Mari often takes a long time to fall asleep, and if I'm to have a hope of keeping her on schedule, I need more time. If, however, Mari shows signs of tiredness before I start the naptime routine, I will skip the story and song -- I will just feed her (if she hasn't eaten recently), take her to the potty and put her to bed.
2. If she doesn't use the potty within a minute or two during bedtime and naptime routines, I'll just diaper her and get on with it -- no more 15-minute potty trips that include a lot of getting her on and off the potty, no matter how convinced I am that she really should need to go.
3. I will try harder to get her to fall asleep without being rocked to sleep. I will rock her until she's calm and is putting her head down on my chest but before she has started to close her eyes, I'll put her down and pat her, give her her lovey, verbally soothe her and stay by her side but I won't pick her up until she has been in her crib 20 minutes without falling asleep OR until her fussing turns into full-on crying. If she hasn't fallen asleep after 20 minutes, or if she starts to cry, I will do what I was doing in the previous 10-day plan (i.e. pick up and rock until nearly asleep).
4. In part to adjust for the above, I will try again to move the beginning of the bedtime routine to 6:30, with the goal of having her asleep by 7:30. Too often lately I have had to skip the bath because she was already getting fussy.
5. I will read the No-Cry Nap Solution (which I just got today) and make a plan to try to improve Mari's napping habits, since she currently wakes up very quickly and has to be held if I'm going to get her back to sleep, often for the rest of the nap.
6. I will try harder to stick to the schedule.
7. I will continue to keep track of her nap lengths and night wakings, and I will also start keeping track of how long she's up between naps, in hopes of establishing optimal times once I have a bit more data.
8. I will eliminate the before-I-go-to-bed dream feed, because I don't want to interfere with her sleep cycles, even if it means I have to get up sooner to feed her. I will avoid feeding her until five hours have passed after she went to bed. After the five-hour no-feeding stretch, I will feed her up to every three hours if she won't fall back asleep without nursing.
9. I will now let Mari fuss for up to 10 minutes before I go in, not five minutes. This is for fussy noises only. If at any point she starts to full-on cry, I will go in immediately.
Today: Another day of unpredictability, coupled with a little culpability. Mari's morning nap was unusually long at 2.5 hours. I then took her to the library but didn't leave as soon as she got up because I thought she'd be hungry and didn't want her to start screaming while we were walking. So we ended up being out longer than we should have and she fell asleep in her carrier on the way home. I was going to let her continue to sleep in her carrier, but she woke up as soon as we got home, maybe due to the change in temperature or because I wasn't walking anymore. So that nap only lasted 20 minutes. She woke up twice during her early-evening nap and ended up having to be held until she'd slept for an hour. Then she got cranky again very quickly so I had to skip the bath and massage and get her straight to sleep.
The last plan stays in place, with the following changes:
1. I will start the naptime routine 45 minutes, not 30 minutes, before I want Mari to sleep. While in some ways this is a step backwards, since the ideal would be a shorter naptime routine, the fact is that Mari often takes a long time to fall asleep, and if I'm to have a hope of keeping her on schedule, I need more time. If, however, Mari shows signs of tiredness before I start the naptime routine, I will skip the story and song -- I will just feed her (if she hasn't eaten recently), take her to the potty and put her to bed.
2. If she doesn't use the potty within a minute or two during bedtime and naptime routines, I'll just diaper her and get on with it -- no more 15-minute potty trips that include a lot of getting her on and off the potty, no matter how convinced I am that she really should need to go.
3. I will try harder to get her to fall asleep without being rocked to sleep. I will rock her until she's calm and is putting her head down on my chest but before she has started to close her eyes, I'll put her down and pat her, give her her lovey, verbally soothe her and stay by her side but I won't pick her up until she has been in her crib 20 minutes without falling asleep OR until her fussing turns into full-on crying. If she hasn't fallen asleep after 20 minutes, or if she starts to cry, I will do what I was doing in the previous 10-day plan (i.e. pick up and rock until nearly asleep).
4. In part to adjust for the above, I will try again to move the beginning of the bedtime routine to 6:30, with the goal of having her asleep by 7:30. Too often lately I have had to skip the bath because she was already getting fussy.
5. I will read the No-Cry Nap Solution (which I just got today) and make a plan to try to improve Mari's napping habits, since she currently wakes up very quickly and has to be held if I'm going to get her back to sleep, often for the rest of the nap.
6. I will try harder to stick to the schedule.
7. I will continue to keep track of her nap lengths and night wakings, and I will also start keeping track of how long she's up between naps, in hopes of establishing optimal times once I have a bit more data.
8. I will eliminate the before-I-go-to-bed dream feed, because I don't want to interfere with her sleep cycles, even if it means I have to get up sooner to feed her. I will avoid feeding her until five hours have passed after she went to bed. After the five-hour no-feeding stretch, I will feed her up to every three hours if she won't fall back asleep without nursing.
9. I will now let Mari fuss for up to 10 minutes before I go in, not five minutes. This is for fussy noises only. If at any point she starts to full-on cry, I will go in immediately.
Today: Another day of unpredictability, coupled with a little culpability. Mari's morning nap was unusually long at 2.5 hours. I then took her to the library but didn't leave as soon as she got up because I thought she'd be hungry and didn't want her to start screaming while we were walking. So we ended up being out longer than we should have and she fell asleep in her carrier on the way home. I was going to let her continue to sleep in her carrier, but she woke up as soon as we got home, maybe due to the change in temperature or because I wasn't walking anymore. So that nap only lasted 20 minutes. She woke up twice during her early-evening nap and ended up having to be held until she'd slept for an hour. Then she got cranky again very quickly so I had to skip the bath and massage and get her straight to sleep.
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